A while ago, I was listening to Post Malone’s song “Congratulations”. It brought a smile to my face. The lyrics are something like:
“I dreamed it all ever since I was young
They said I wouldn't be nothing
Now they always say congratulations
Worked so hard, forgot how to vacation
They ain't never had the dedication
People hatin', say we changed and look we made it
Yeah, we made it”
I loved these lyrics and found it relatable to people who are struggling in their lives, trying to get out of the rut, working really hard, hustling to make it in their lives. But what is “it” exactly? I kept on thinking and remembered the time when I landed a job that I always dreamed about in college, I felt so proud of myself because it wasn’t easy. That feeling of pride came after several failures, several episodes of feeling “not good enough”. In my head I was patting my back and cheering “I finally made it”. But after a while that feeling passed, my mind started feeling restless again.
I realized we inherently have an insatiable quest, the fulfillment of each goal triggers another one and we are always left with an empty feeling. The more I thought about it, the more I got sucked in. I decided to do my own research on this subject, discussed with my friends/family/peers and got their perspectives.
Lets begin with the meaning of “it”:
“It” is fulfilling a childhood dream.
“It” is achieving what we have desired for so long and couldn’t really let ourselves enjoy life fully till we got it.
“It” can be fulfilling our parents hopes and dreams.
“It” is getting status and money
“It” is attaining power.
But do we genuinely feel fulfilled or different after achieving all that? The answer is always a very weak “yes” and we justify our choices by believing that it may or may not personally fulfill us, but it provides food-shelter to survive, a sense of security, social acceptance, validation, a high self esteem, and so on.
These things do matter, no doubt about it. It is only after you achieve all of that, your mind again starts wandering, it wanders for personal fulfillment.
Personal Fulfillment
Personal fulfillment can mean different things to different people because we all are unique and have our own place in the world. Some people long to live a life of greatness- to really matter in world, some long for a life of contribution-to make a difference, some want to leave a legacy, and some simply long for calmness and peace of mind.
The question is how do we get there
After spending hours reading literature and some soul searching, I realized personal fulfillment is not a “goal” that you can accomplish one time in your life. It is a mindset that you can’t ever retire from seeking. You can’t just accomplish a childhood dream and be done with your life. You have to consistently question yourself and not just clear the hurdles that others are setting up for you.
Society and culture is always going to impel you to be a certain way. Take a personal look at how you define success in your heart of hearts and find your path to get there. It is a life-long process of self-discovery. It is a key to find direction, clarity, and purpose in life. The pursuit of personal fulfillment encourages us to be the best version of ourselves and reach our full potential. To sum up my learnings on this subject, I will end up with the following phrase of Robert Louis Stevenson-
“To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.”
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